Potty mouth

I love swearing.

I guess it's not cool to swear on this forum, and that's given me the shakes. I'm having a cold sweat here.

I realised/realized the other day that I can't form a sentence without using the F-word at least once. I was explaining this to a friend, and used it four times in doing so.

Am I abnormal? Am I wrong? Does anyone else here use more swearwords than apostrophes?

Ah shucks, since the house has been populated with kids for the last 22 years (my kids range in age from six to twenty-two) I've had to reign in some of the "colorful metaphors".

Kids instinctively repeat words that you don't want them to repeat. When a kid hears a sentence such as: "Damn! I soldered the patch cord and forgot to slide the cover on the cable. Now I gotta redo it!" -- the only word the kid will remember is "damn". Nope... they won't remember "solder", or "patchcord", or "cable". Nope, they will walk around the house the rest of the day saying "Damn, damn damn". They'll say it to their brothers and sisters. They'll say it to the neighbors, the grandparents, the boss. They MIGHT say it to their friends, but they will most likely say it to YOUR friends who will then ask "How are you raising your kids, anyway!" In church, instead of "Amen" they'll say "Damn damn damn". All of this GRIEF because of one stinkin' patch cord.

So, once one is mortified by what comes from the mouths of babes, one learns to use the f-word sparingly. For example:

you hit a wrong note: "crud!"
you knock over a glass of water: "shoot"
you knock over a glass of coffee: "oh no!"
when something "sucks": "how annoying"
you pick up a hot solder iron by the wrong end:
"ohhhhh !@#%^#&$( fu*************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ok, there are moments when only the f-word will do. It is always handy to have a pillow within reach when kids are around. Just shove it on your face and let loose with the profanity!

Occasional catharsis is healthy.

:)

Not more than apostrophes but definitely more than asterisks...

I haven't noticed any swearing on this forum but there is no flaming or making the newbies feel like idiots for asking a question either so it's a fair trade.

I tend to keep it clean here out of respect for those who might be offended.

It is difficult sometimes, though.

Good luck with the struggle.

My 7-year-old recently learned the F-word. I was both proud and mortified at the same time.

I blame his mother....

DiggyDog: [i]I blame his mother....[/i]

good call!

I find that I have three sets of vocabularies. One while I’m at work or speaking to a customer, away from work but still out in public, and finally when I am home or solely in the presences of friends.

I discovered this after a customer of mine asked me if I was religious.
“no… why?”
“Because I’ve never heard you cuss.”

He is a newer customer of mine and we don’t have much history with each other. But I know I have cussed around some of my long time customers, my mother, my wife, and yes unfortunately, even my son.

I use the F word as an exclamation mostly, I cant remember the last time I said “F you” to someone, well, unless I’m driving.

So I guess I cuss a lot to, it’s just seldom directed at anyone.

diggydog said
[i] ''I haven't noticed any swearing on this forum but there is no flaming or making newbies feel like idiots for asking a question"[/i]
and
alexander wants to swear.
We should have a whole section for swearing and making fun of newbies.
just kidding, that's a good thing about this forum, but I do enjoy a little searing now and then, as long as it's in good humor'
ie no "you f'in idiot" but a nice "boy did I f up that break job"

andy

Like Kevin, my household swearing is of the 1950's Boy's Own Adventure Annual variety, and has been for the last fifteen years.

But my not-swearing habit really started when I went to college. I was into long-term jokes at the time and five minutes in the Student Union Bar on my first day, sitting next to a table of Mech. Eng. students, gave me an idea. In order to effectively shock people you first have to establish yourself as a person who does not do or say shocking things, and then wait for the right opportunity. So for a year and a quarter or so I was Mr Polite.

Until the second year Christmas Party. One of the sexiest and most desirable students made her entrance in a rather flouncy but very revealing party dress. Slightly too loudly, and just as the song on the PA ended, one of my mates commented "F- me. She looks like a F-ing fairy on a F-ing Christmas tree."

In the ensuing seconds of tense and general silence I added, quietly but audibly, "I've got a branch she can sit on."

And brought the house down. :-)

I work for a public school here in the states and my natural verbage is that of a sailor. I'm constantly checking myself. That being said, my repair shop is located in the High School (9-12 grades) and have found it sets some kids at ease to know your down to earth enough to let the occasional curse word out. I really try to refrain from this with the 9th and 10th graders, but, depending on the kid, I've found 11th and 12th graders are usually pretty ok with it and know the rules (ie no swearing in front of the teachers while you're working on their computer, don't scream obcenities at the top of your lungs without serious provacation (soldering iron accidents bypass this rule)). I just don't believe that there are bad words, just bad intentions. I really try to discourage the kids from using curse words in a negative way. It really iritates me when they say things like, "That's so gay." Like being gay is bad and you shouldn't respect people who are gay. This is a real sticking point for me because I had a kid come out to me after they graduated and got away from the High School scene for a bit. It explained a lot about the kids self abusive nature, especially in light of how often the other kids used terms like, "That's so gay."

I do kinda like the "clean" aspect of these forums, though. It forces you to be a bit more thoughful in your responses. Just go to Punknews.org and check out what the kids post over there and you'll understand what I mean. ;-)

BTW Whether you like to cuss or not, what's your favorite curse word? Mines F**K. It's pretty much the comma in every sentence I utter at home or in the studio.

Gordon: That line was brilliant! Fortunately for my Powerbook I wasn't drinking coffee while I read it.

you're right, there are no bad words. it's all in how you use them.
Alexander Thomas jokingly wrote, [i]Maybe you just suck at the first four?[/i] suggesting someone was bad at playing these instriments. so "suck" was used negatively. but there are also some instances where suck can be a very good thing. IMHO.

Edweird. One of the few times I said something funny intentionally. Mostly it works like this...

It's the first week at college and a group of us are endeavouring to sample the beer in every pub in the tourist area of Plymouth - The Hoe.

Fairly late into the evening I am standing at a crowded pub urinal and Chris turns to me and asks "Gordon, are we in the navy?" (Plymouth is a naval port.)

My word, I think, this man is drunker than I am. So I explained slowly and carefully, "No, Chris, we're students."

Inexplicably, this provoked laughter from all present. Huh?

On returning to the bar, Chris recounted the story to more laughter. Again, huh?

Several days later I went down on the Hoe again, and recognised the pub. The Navy.


My favourite swear words? The opening line of Plaistow Patricia by Ian Dury and the Blockheads, and the couplet in Bodies by the Sex Pistols that rhymes "that" with "brat." And of course the title of the album it is on.